Exile, the Dark Elf Trilogy #2 Book Report 2

나의 감정

몸은 마음의 지배를 받는걸까, 아니면 반대로 마음이 몸의 지배를 받는걸까
책을 읽는 동안 반복적으로 이 의문이 내게 답을 물어왔다

마음이 말하는 데로, 그는 자신의 고향을 떠나 Underdark 의 야생으로 나오게 된다

그 스스로 평가했듯, 그는 야생에서의 생존에 충분한 기술들을 가지고 있었지만,
그에게 야생에서의 시간은 적막, 의미의 상실, 비어있음, 괴로움이 되었다.

무엇이 그를 괴롭게 한걸까

사람은 무엇을 추구하는걸까. 사람은 자신을 알고 있다 생각하지만,
그건, 단순히 자신이 무엇을 할수 있는지를 뜻하는건 아니라고 생각한다

사람은 무엇을 추구하는것이 아니라, 무엇을 '함께' 추구하는가.

그것이 자신을 만든다는 생각이 들었다.
그것이 자신을 아프게 하고, 그것이 자신을 기억하고, 그것이 자신을 이끄는 걸테다.

자신이기 위해, 함께 해야하는 것이다.

어쩌면 Belwar 는 그걸, 알고 있었던 걸지도.

그랬기에 그의 이야기를 듣고, 그와 '함께' 하기로 결정했을테다.

Belwar 와 함께하면서, 주인공은 Underdark 의 야생이 만든 아이덴티티,
hunter 로부터 자신을 되찾아가기 시작한다.

마법사에 의해 hook horror 로 폴리모프된 Clacker,
Malice 에 의해 spirit wraith 로 부활한 Zak 를 만났을때,
그는 hunter 가 아니였다.

그는 자신이 그러했듯, 둘을 돌려놓고 싶어했다. 진정 그는 그걸 함께 추구하고 싶어했다.

둘의 강한 마음이, 일시적으로 희망을 가져다 주었지만,
결국, 그 둘은 죽음을 통해서 자신이 될수 있었다.

빈 Underdark 의 통로를 걸으면서, 주인공은 생각했을지도 모른다.
Underdark 의 야생도 어쩌면 마법의 일종이 아닐까, 폴리모프나 진'칼라 처럼.

자신을, 자신이 아닌 무언가로 서서히 변모시키는, 생존과 기술만을 추구하고,

그 사이에 비어있는 시간들이 쌓이고 쌓여, 결국 죽음을 통해서만 해방될수 있는
족쇄가 되는것이 아닐까.

그렇기에, 주인공은 Belwar 와 함께할수 없었던 걸테다.

Belwar 에겐 Underdark 는 삶의 터전이 있는 곳이지만, 주인공에게는
비어있는 곳이니까.

주인공은 삶을 포기한게 아니다, 다른 삶을 찾아 떠난것이다.

처음부터, 그러했던 것이다. Underdark 는 주인공에게 있어, 삶의 터전이 아니라,
다른 삶으로 향하는 통로, 인 것이다.

그렇게 두 친구는 서로를 이해하고, 다시 만날수 없음을 알지만,
함께했음을 알기에, 다시 만날것을 약속하며, 주인공의 앞길을 축복한 걸테다.

영작

Is body controls mind, or mind controls body?
It keeps lingering while reading the book.

To follow the mind, Our protagonist leave the homeland and
enter the wild of the Underdark.

Although, in his assessment, He get the skills necessary to survive in the wilderness, His time in the wilderness is bleak, loss of meaning, emptiness, and torment.

What makes him suffer?

I wonder what human pursue. although we think we knows ourselves,
I think it does not simply mean what we capable of.

Human is not just what pursue, but what pursue 'with'.

It make him/herself, i presume.
It makes him/herself hurt, it remind him/herself, it leads him/herself.

To be him/herself, one must be with another.

Perhaps, Belwar knew it from beginning.

Because of that, After hearing his story in the Underdark, He follows his journey.

During companionship with Belwar, Our protagonist regained himself from the hunter, his identity created by the wilderness of the Underdark.

He no longer the hunter in both -- when He met the Clacker, who polymorphed to hook horror by the wizard, and Zak, who resurrected to spirit wraith by Malice.

like himself, he want to change both of them to their original self, he truly want to pursue that goal with them.

Although their strong will bring some hope,
In the end, both of them can be themselves through death.

Walking the empty passage of the Underdark, Our protagonist might think.
Perhaps the wilderness of the Underdark is also the magic, like polymorph and Jin'Cala.

It slowly change himself to something else, the one only pursues survival and skill.

In between that moments, empty time keeps its toll, until death is the only salvation for freeing that sackle.

As so, Our protagonist could not be with Belwar anymore.

For Belwar, the Underdark is the place where his homeland is, but for our protagonist, it is just empty place.

Our protagonist does not give up life, He leave for other life.

As it should be, from the beginning.
For him, Underdark is not the homeland, a passage to other life.

As so, Two friends understand each other, knowing that this is their last, but remember their bond, Promising reunion, Farewell his upcoming passage.

첨삭버전

Is the body controlling the mind, or the mind controlling the body?
This question kept lingering while I was reading the book.

To follow his mind, our protagonist leaves his homeland and enters the wilderness of the Underdark.

Although, in his own assessment, he has gained the skills necessary to survive in the wilderness, his time there is bleak—full of loss of meaning, emptiness, and torment.

What makes him suffer?

I wonder what humans truly pursue. Although we think we know ourselves, I believe it does not simply mean knowing what we are capable of.

Humans are not only defined by what they pursue, but also by what they pursue with.

This shapes oneself, I presume.
It can hurt oneself, remind oneself, and guide oneself.

To truly be oneself, one must be with another.

Perhaps Belwar knew this from the beginning.

Because of that, after hearing our protagonist's story in the Underdark, Belwar decides to accompany him on his journey.

During his companionship with Belwar, our protagonist regains himself from the identity that the hunter had forced upon him in the wilderness of the Underdark.

He is no longer a hunter when he encounters the Clacker, polymorphed into a hook horror by a wizard, and Zak, resurrected as a spirit wraith by Malice.

Like himself, he wishes to help both of them return to their original selves—he truly wants to pursue that goal with them.

Although their strong wills bring some hope, in the end, both can only be themselves through death.

Walking the empty passages of the Underdark, our protagonist might reflect that perhaps the wilderness itself is a kind of magic, like polymorph or Jin'Cala.

It slowly transforms him into someone who only pursues survival and skill.

In those moments, empty time takes its toll, until death seems the only salvation to free that burden.

Thus, our protagonist could no longer remain with Belwar.

For Belwar, the Underdark is the place of his homeland, but for our protagonist, it is just an empty place.

Yet he does not give up on life. He leaves in search of another life.

As it should be, from the beginning.
For him, the Underdark is not a homeland—it is a passage to another life.

And so, the two friends understand each other, knowing this is their final parting, yet they remember their bond, promising reunion, and bidding farewell to the path that lies ahead.